


Long Handwritten Note (Deep In Your Pocket)

by onethingsuniversal



Category: The Prom (2020), The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: Birthday, Early Relationship, F/F, Fluff, High School, Origami, Secret Relationship, Secrets, These tags will make sense once you read it., note passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28841979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onethingsuniversal/pseuds/onethingsuniversal
Summary: They hadn’t meant for it to become a thing- they really hadn’t. To them it felt like their whole entire existence as a couple was based off of hiding, so the very nature of leaving a physical piece of evidence, that could incriminate their relationship and expose them for what they were, went against every instinct to protect the fragility and beauty of what they had. But before they knew it, notes had become a lifeline for them.orEmma and Alyssa pass notes between each other during their time when they have to hide their relationship. Shenanigans ensue.
Relationships: Alyssa Greene & Emma Nolan, Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 50





	Long Handwritten Note (Deep In Your Pocket)

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone!
> 
> yesterday i was complaining that i had zero motivation to write anything and here we are, a day later, with my longest fic ever that surprisingly isn't rosie-centric, in fact there is no mention of her at all but i do have one in drafts that i need to finish.
> 
> i'm actually very proud of this, it was a random idea but i think it turned out really cute for my first time properly writing high school emma & alyssa.
> 
> a disclaimer: there is mentions of mocking taylor swift in her- it is IRONIC- i have no issue with taylor at all, it's just an inside joke that is now unavoidable, hence why most of my fics have her lyrics as titles. we stan her in this house. no hard feelings.
> 
> of course shout out to kate! (AnotherUsernameIllForget) she came up with many of the ideas in here and even if she doesn't want to be blamed for it, i probably wouldn't have written it, at least as fast, without her. one notable mention is the acrostic poem gold in here!! (p.s i'll promise i'll send you my motivation soon)
> 
> (title from sad beautiful tragic by taylor swift)(ofc, refer to prior disclaimer)

They hadn’t meant for it to become a thing- they really hadn’t. To them it felt like their whole entire existence as a couple was based off of hiding, so the very nature of leaving a physical piece of evidence, that could incriminate their relationship and expose them for what they were, went against every instinct to protect the fragility and beauty of what they had. But before they knew it, notes had become a lifeline for them. 

It had started casually, a one-time thing, just to leave a message.

Alyssa had gotten pulled into an ‘emergency’ student council meeting regarding the misplacement of the timetable for the upcoming spirit week that apparently urgently needed amending. As president she understood that things like that would come up occasionally, they had in the past, but this time was different because this time Alyssa had somewhere else, somewhere she would much rather be.

To everybody else, Alyssa Greene was a perfect, model-student who couldn’t possibly be disguising anything- or so her peers thought due to her ‘open book policy’ she’d stated during her run for student-body president, even if those words had been force-fed to her by her mother. But little did they know that she was hiding something.

This thing wasn’t bad though, not at all. This thing was the most exhilarating, beautiful, natural thing in the whole word. This thing was the overwhelming, butterfly-inducing feelings she felt for someone. This thing was something she wished she could scream from every rooftop in Edgewater. But she couldn’t.

She couldn’t, because the person that made her feel seen and heard and, she’d even stretch to, loved for the first time in her entire life was a girl. Not just any girl though, Emma Nolan.

That’s right. Alyssa Greene was head-over-heels for, infatuated by, completely and utterly obsessed with Emma Nolan- James Maddison’s resident lesbian. The target for every bully in the school, every snide comment in the hallway and every grossly exaggerated rumour in the entire school was her girlfriend.

It wasn’t like Alyssa wanted to hide her feelings towards the girl, she didn’t want to, but she had to.

Her mother was a total control-freak who had been on the verge of a breakdown since her father up and left them whilst the girl was only in elementary school and also happened to be the biggest homophobe in the whole of the very conservative, bigoted town.

So, Alyssa couldn’t come out, not yet, not now, meaning she had to watch her favourite person in the whole wide world be subject to uninventive slurs being spat at her in the corridors or slammed into a locker by a mindless jock- and it was hard, so hard, because they were picking on her for something out of control and who she was, who they both were- but Alyssa wouldn’t publicly admit to that side of herself, because even thinking about the repercussions was enough to spiral her into a panic-attack. 

But there was one thing that made it just a little more bearable, the rare occasions she got to spend in person with Emma.

Sure, they would text when they could between studying and Alyssa’s various commitments- Emma had come up with the bright idea of saving her name under ‘Elliot’ to act as an alias for her in case Mrs Greene ever overlooked their texting history that was full of hearts and kisses- but it wasn’t the same as being close to one another. 

Feeling the sparks that flew between them at so much of a shoulder brush was like no other feeling Alyssa had ever felt before. It was electric. But due to the private nature of their relationship these times were few and far between and if Alyssa ever had to skip one for whatever reason she would always feel terrible.

Hence why, to the girl, the emergency meeting might as well have been the end of the world.

Tuesday after school had been their guaranteed time together, even if it was only an hour. The day of her debate club meeting had changed but Alyssa had simply ‘forgotten to mention’ this to her mom, meaning she wouldn’t be expected home until just before dinner, acting as the perfect cover for her to spend some quality time with her girlfriend.

Emma would stay and make conversation with her music teacher, who was the only teacher who either hadn’t heard, or didn’t care about the rumours that had spread like wildfire after her parents had kicked her out. He had given the key to the old, currently unused, band-closet to Emma after she’d accidentally opened up and admitted close-to-the full extent of her bullying, saying she could use it if she ever needed five minutes to herself, explaining it was safe since barely anybody knew it existed and those who did had no reason to go there anyway- not that they could get in without a key.

Before the prospect of Alyssa Greene being anything other than straight was even on her horizon, Emma had used the cosy space for its original purpose- to escape from the jackasses who always had it out for her. But after a rather explosive chemistry lesson, involving peanut brittle, she’d shared the sanctuary she’d found in the space with her long-time crush, and it eventually became the place where Alyssa realised, she liked girls, not just any girls, and kissed Emma Nolan square on the lips, surprising them both.

After that, the band closet was no longer just Emma’s space, it was her and Alyssa’s space. The place where they could just be them without having to be terrified someone else might find them and burst the delightful but fragile bubble, they’d created for themselves whilst effortlessly exploring the exciting bounds of a new relationship.

Hence why the first thought she had after receiving the news of the impromptu organisation of the student body during her final period, was Emma. She nodded with thanks, towards the girl who had been the bearer of the news that was standing in the doorway of her geography class to excuse her and as soon as the teacher called out to grab her classes’ attention back Alyssa’s mind started formulation a plan.

She worked out that in the five minutes she’d have after being excused from her class early- for means of arriving to her meeting on time- if she ran, well fast-walked, she would be able to get to the band-closet, leave a note, and get to the classroom where the gathering would take place just in time for its start. Completing both objectives- one, letting her girlfriend know of the last-minute change of plans and two, maintain her perfect punctuality. Plan formulated, Alyssa ripped out a page from her to-do-list notebook and scribbled down a note for Emma before returning her attention back to the lesson being taught.

Half an hour later, once her teacher had finished assigning the relevant homework and excused her, Alyssa was racing down the familiar corridors and slipping into the mostly deserted music block, eyes scanning until they found where she was after- the familiar, wooden door. The door to the band closet.

She bent down and re-read the note, pressing a feather-light kiss to the folded edge which left the slightest mark from the rose-tinted lip gloss she’d applied that morning- before slipping it under the worn door, hoping desperately that Emma would find it when she eventually got there and that her girlfriend would understand the circumstances.

\---

‘E,

I’m so sorry but a last-minute meeting was called, & student president duties call. It’s something about a lost schedule which I can guarantee you is just on someone’s flash-drive in the bottom of their bag.

Anyway, again I’m sorry to waste your time, just know that there is nowhere I would rather be than with you, especially not this. But I’ll try to call you later if my mom’s in a good mood.

I miss you endlessly & I’ll make it up- promise.

A <3’

\---

Emma did find the note, and it made her smile despite what it explained. Of course, it sucked that she wouldn’t get to spend the time with Alyssa, but she realised this was the first tangible piece of ‘evidence’ she had of their, now six-week long, relationship. And something about the little heart that she’d signed off with made Emma’s heart glow and left a smile on her face the whole journey home- even if it was earlier than she’d liked it to be and her lips weren’t as kiss-swollen as she’d prefer them be.

That note stayed firmly tucked away in her pocket in the following weeks until she misplaced it, which was oddly heart-breaking, she had found it serving as a reminder that not everybody hated her, and she wasn’t the only one, regardless of whether everybody else knew that or not.

Little did she know that Alyssa had found it in the pocket of the flannel Emma had given her. Knowing her girlfriend had held onto something so seemingly insignificant made Alyssa feel warm inside and spurred her on to write another the next time the opportunity arose- undeterred by the consequences it could pose.

Despite vowing it too dangerous to just leave a random note of affection whenever she felt like after the first one because the risk of somebody finding them out was just too high- Alyssa quickly discarded that sentiment.

Not even a week had passed since she’d found the screwed up, tattered piece of paper in her girlfriend’s stolen flannel, when she felt compelled to leave another.

Though this time it wasn’t because something had come up, nor that she wasn’t able to attend one of their ‘Tuesday dates’ which she had made a distinct effort not to miss a single one of since the one she’d skipped the month before. No, it was far simpler than that.

Her morning had been going to plan, arrive at school, paint on a smile for Shelby and Kaylee (her two ‘best friends’) and then head to the spot where her locker was, and had been since freshman year after her mother bribed the administrators into giving her a locker in the prime place for access or what-not. 

Nothing was out of the ordinary. 

That was until Alyssa had seen Emma in the hallway. Mind you, there wasn’t anything different to Emma than usual. She hadn’t cut her hair or styled it differently. But Alyssa thought she was the most beautiful person in the whole school, the whole world, with those unruly blonde curls that sat just above her shoulders, framing her face with a soft light. The sight of her girlfriend walking past her, almost close enough for Alyssa to reach and take her hand, took her breath away. Her steady attention on gripping onto the stack of schoolbooks faltered, causing her math textbook to slip slightly from her grasp. But she couldn’t care less, at least until she got a few strange looks from her peers surrounding her when the strayed book crashed to the floor, drawing all attention to her as a heavy blush rushed to her cheeks.

Feeling all of those pairs of eyes on her should have been mortifying, but one specific gaze, that of Emma’s as she glanced back to see where the noise had come from, dissolved the judgement from anybody else. They locked eyes for a fraction of a second, not daring to hold it for a moment longer but Alyssa shot Emma a bashful smile in hopes she might see it. 

It was in that moment where Alyssa felt the urge to scribble down her feelings onto the nearest piece of notebook paper and toss it in Emma’s direction because that was the closest to what she truly wanted to do. Shout down the hall to Emma. Confess that it was her who made her drop that book because she couldn’t contain the way her heart swooped when she laid eyes on her. But she didn’t.

Alyssa would never understand how her classmates didn’t see Emma Nolan the way she did. But no matter what they thought or how they treated her, Alyssa knew she knew the truth, so she strived to make her girlfriend understand just how incredible she was. How brilliant, brave, resilient and kind she was and that’s not even mentioning the fact that she had one of the smartest minds in the entire cohort.

Lunch with Kaylee and Shelby dragged on longer than she ever thought it had. She was itching to deposit the piece of paper, that was practically burning a hole in her pocket, but she couldn’t seem to land on an appropriate place to slip out of the riveting conversation the girls were having about their potential dates to the next pep-rally. 

After withstanding far more of the gossiping than was humane, Alyssa muttered a quiet excuse and got up from the table, exiting the cafeteria as promptly as possible, beginning the familiar journey to the band-closet whilst drawing as little attention to herself as she could. 

Alyssa may have been a terrible liar who knew her well, but the one positive of having friends as plastic as hers was that they would eat up every alibi she gave them without a single doubt. Hence why removing herself from her previous situation was as easy as announcing she had some permission forms to hand into the office regarding an, extremely real, excursion to the local courts with the debate team.

She quickly got to her desired destination, plucking the artifact from her cardigan pocket, reading it once before folding it carefully so it could be wedged deliberately under the crack of the door.

\---

‘E,

I saw you in the hall today and you looked so beautiful I dropped what I was doing- literally.

Yes, embarrassing myself and throwing everything onto the ground was, in fact, your fault but you’re so adorable I couldn’t ever hold a grudge.

As much as I wanted to tell you at the time, I hope this suffices in letting you know just how amazing you are.

All my love,  
A

p.s- have I ever told you I adore your hair?’

\---

The girl was so obsessed with the idea of the romantic gesture having the capacity to put a smile on the blonde’s face, that she didn’t even halt to consider the fact that somebody might find it and she didn’t know for certain that Emma would be the next person to enter the small closet before the end of the week.

But luckily, it was Emma who next opened the door during her free period that afternoon, discovering the sheet emblazoned with a recognisable ‘E’ on the creased edge and the ghost of a strawberry tinted kiss. Before she could even throw her bag to the floor she was eagerly grabbing it from its place on the floor to let the comforting wash of Alyssa’s words flow through her. It was like she could hear her reading them to her, and that was the greatest gift she could ever be given.

Emma didn’t get much work done that afternoon, instead she read, and reread the contents of the paper, savouring the meaning of it.

Emma rushed home as fast as she could once the final bell rung that day, intent on finding the perfect way of discretely returning her girlfriend’s favour.

Once the initial rush of adrenaline has passed, Alyssa didn’t think much of leaving that second note, the thought fluttered to the back of her mind once she returned home and had to start on the mountains of homework she’d been set. 

That was until she opened her locker at the start of the next school day which happened to be the day after she’d planted the confession for Emma.

Not thinking anything of it, Alyssa twisted in her combination, going to grab the books she needed for the day when something unfamiliar. 

An envelope held up by a magnet on the door of her locker, somehow fitting perfectly into the simple décor she’d had up since the start of the school year. So well in fact that if you weren’t familiar with Alyssa’s locker you wouldn’t have known anything was out of place. Alyssa was slightly put out by the discovery, but hid it well not alerting Kaylee or Shelby of her surprise. Instead, she simply encouraged them to head to homeroom without her, promising to catch them up as soon as she found a notebook she had ‘lost’

It wasn’t like the envelope had been posted through the vent of her locker- she knew what that was like as every year around valentine’s day she’d end up with a pile of cards waiting to ambush her after she unlocked it. They would all fall to the floor and cause any of the surrounding cheer squad to squeal incomprehensively with jealousy, even if Alyssa thought it was totally ridiculous. No, this wasn’t like that, this was placed purposefully. That confused Alyssa because only one person in the entire school could know her code- because it was the date they’d officially gotten together.

Emma.

Alyssa grinned to herself as she pulled it from its place on the metal door, flipping it over and seeing handwriting that immediately confirmed her suspicions. Her girlfriend must have planted it there at some point between then and yesterday. In the moment, Alyssa didn’t think that there had ever been a more romantic gesture, god she was so lucky.

As Alyssa tore open the envelope something floated down to her feet. She bent down and retrieved it, still not entirely sure what was going on regarding the contents until opened up the folded card to reveal a handful of what looked like, dried flowers and a hand-written note that Alyssa scanned her eyes over.

\---

‘A,

I saw these the other day and thought of you so naturally I picked them. My gran showed me how to press flowers last summer, so I employed that skill for the first (and probably last) time.

I was going to wait and give them to you next Tuesday, but your surprise note made me smile just the way I hope you’re smiling now.

Sorry if I spooked you by ‘breaking into’ your locker and no, I’m not going to tell you when I managed it. The mystery adds to the surprise and that is just what you get for making you.

Yours forever,  
E’

\---

For some reason Alyssa could feel tears pricking the backs of her eyes. Time and time again Emma managed to prove just how much the girl meant to her in the most astonishing and poignant yet simple ways- and Alyssa worshipped her for it. 

As the first bell of the day rang, signifying the start of the time allocated for homeroom, that she wasn’t currently in, Alyssa pulled out her phone from her pocket to text Emma. It wasn’t long and the meaning wasn’t particularly clear, but she knew she would understand what she meant by ‘you’re the best’. 

Which she did, of course. In the first break of the day, whilst she was sitting with Kaylee and company in the crowded cafeteria, Alyssa’s phone buzzed. When she discretely pulled her phone of her pocket to check if it was anything important, from her mom or whatever, she was greeted with a blunt ‘;)’ from ‘Elliot’. Typical Emma- she thought to herself as she let out a silent chuckle before returning her phone out of sight again, wary to be discovered texting her secret ‘boyfriend’ as she knew she would never ever hear the end of it.

It was then when she realised that the notes had potential to add another layer of affection to their relationship, a form of admiration and gratitude towards each other that both the girls craved so deeply, and Alyssa decided that the way it made her feel, to have proof that her girlfriend was thinking of her even if she couldn’t outwardly admit it, far outweighed any negative fallout that they could bring.

Over the following months, multiple notes were left in ‘their places’, mostly consisting off the band-closet and Alyssa’s locker. They contained messages of appreciation and infatuation to random ‘dad jokes’ that Emma would leave Alyssa to make her girlfriend laugh, not because any of the jokes were funny in the slightest, but because they were so ridiculous.

It stayed an unspoken, simple thing, neither of them going further than a scrap piece of paper, not, at least, since Emma’s pressed-flowers addition to the exchange.

But it was coming up to an especially special date- their 6-month anniversary- and Alyssa wanted to do something a little bit more special than usual.

Alyssa was one of those people. 

The type of girlfriend who counted every possible anniversary without fail. There were the more usual ones that didn’t really mean anything but were sweet to mention in passing, like one month, where she’d given Emma a bag of M&Ms from the vending machine, the next time she saw her, after the date had passed. And then for three months she had used her various crafting apparatus to glitter-glue a frame together around a photo they’d taken one afternoon in the band-closet and gifted it to Emma. Nobody could really blame her for that. It was her first relationship ever, and Alyssa was nothing less than obsessed with Emma Nolan.

Emma of course though it was cute, to a certain extent, that she cared so much about how long it had been since they collaboratively used their single lesbian brain cell to admit to each other about the mess of feelings floating around each and every one of their interactions. But the mention of a ‘twenty-week’ anniversary over text and the discovery of a ‘happy one third of a year’ card in her guitar case post an Alyssa-visit to her house felt like a little much.

Undeterred by anything Emma had, or hadn’t, said about Alyssa’s frequencies regarding their anniversaries, she wanted to do something meaningful for six months. After all, half a year was a long time.

The day was getting closer and closer, yet Alyssa still hadn’t had the perfect idea. It needed to be sentimental but not over the top. Amorous but not corny. Passionate but still quintessentially them. She was beginning to lose hope, until one day, the week before the milestone, a single origami heart, folded from a pastel-purple piece of paper, tumbled out of her locker.

In tiny, perfectly formed letters the back of it read...

\---

‘A,

You are every reason, every hope and every dream I’ve ever had.

Love,  
E’

\---

And just like that, Alyssa had the perfect plan. Placing the crimped cardstock into the front of her backpack, she set off to her next class with a newly found spring in her step.

That evening she set to work researching the skill of origami, more specifically, how to craft an origami cat.

Emma loved cats- Alyssa knew that. She’d been to her house a good number of times now. Since her grandma sussed them out after a ‘study session’ that ended in a little less studying and a little more kissing, it had become one of their safe spaces where they could be themselves without having to be scared of others discovering them- even if they did have to leave the door at least half-way open, it was a small price to pay for the refreshing glimpse of freedom. 

Whenever Alyssa would spend any time at Emma’s, she’d always make it her mission to wear whatever comfy clothes her girlfriend had most recently been wearing, since it was a whole lot more comfortable than whatever business-casual look she’d been sporting during the day and the pleasure she derived from being surrounded by Emma’s scent was an added bonus.

But there was one piece of clothing she wasn’t allowed to steal, Emma’s cat onesie. Hence how she knew that an origami cat would be the perfect ‘thanks for being my girlfriend for half of an entire year’ endowment.

It took many, many attempts but Alyssa eventually perfected her cat-making technique, all whilst gaining a honorarium in the form of extra paper perfectly suited and sized for any future note endeavours. 

Once she was happy with the final form of the representation of the animal, she embellished it with markings and a little face, taking a moment to admire her achievement, before printing a message on the back in her neatest font, a smile wide on her face as she did so.

\---

‘E,

6 months,  
26 weeks,  
182 days,  
4,382 hours,  
262,974 minutes  
& 15,778,463 seconds  
Of loving you.

Thank you for the best half-a-year of my life.

Yours, now & forever,  
A’

\---

The next time Alyssa was at Emma’s house, just so happened to be the day before the anniversary, so when her girlfriend went downstairs to replenish the homemade cookie supply, they’d managed to eat through, she situated the little cat snugly in the pouch sewn into the front of the onesie she had based her creativity off of- ready for Emma to find, hopefully, the next day.

Emma did find the folded cat the next time she put on her prized possession. It was a little cringe-worthy and Emma guessed she’d copied the quote straight from a Pinterest-pin, but it was darling nonetheless and she promptly pinned it, pride of place, to her corkboard that hung on her wall.

When Alyssa noticed it suspended there, she couldn’t help but smile to herself, it was something so subtle and earnest, but she was glad that her notion had been appreciated. The little act served as, albeit unnecessary, motivation for Alyssa to never stop giving her the wholesome reminders of worth, for as something that didn’t cost a single dime it sure did bring a lot of joy.

Over the summer, their note-exchanging obviously slowed down, even if Emma would pass by to post an envelope through her letterbox, she couldn’t do that too often because neither of them would put it past Mrs Greene to hang around the block to see if Alyssa was really up to what she claimed to be up to.

However, once they were back in school, they quickly got back into the swing of things. In an addition to their usual ways of communication, Alyssa had started to put notes into Emma’s own locker… though that eventually had to come to an end. Even though they didn’t have the sense to connect the dots and even consider the fact that Alyssa could be doing something aside from terrorising the already over-ostracised Emma, a group of boys from the football team saw her shoving the paper into the vent of the door of the locker that had been repainted countless times due to previous paintings of slurs it had endured- even thinking about that made Alyssa’s blood boil. Luckily, she’d managed to force the note through before the knuckleheads could get close enough to read or see what was truly on it, but she did have to deal with them praising her for trying to hurt the girl in extension to everything that they put her through. 

After the close call the girls very easily could have stopped doing it entirely in fear of something happening but instead, they kept to exchanging notes in safer, less places, which was good enough for them.

Aside from the more casual transactions continued on their weekly, sometimes daily basis- Emma was the next of the pair to make a grander gesture.

As much as she didn’t care too much for the smaller anniversaries, nearly six-months later Emma did have something planned for their one-year anniversary that, naturally, harnessed the tradition of passing their thoughts physically.

It was an almost, grossly sentimental idea, and if Emma hadn’t had been so utterly absorbed by how much she loved Alyssa she probably would have scoffed such a sappy, silly plan. But she was infinitely absorbed by the feelings that had only grown in the past year, so she decided after a little bit of thought, that she would give Alyssa a concert.

To ask her if she’d attend this ‘concert’, Emma used her very sparse knowledge of photoshop to create a simple ticket-like design complete with ‘yes’ or ‘definitely yes’ tick boxes- she couldn’t set herself up for failure by including a ‘no’ box, not that she doubted her girlfriend would say yes.

\---

'A,

Anniversary concert: 3:45pm, Friday

Yes:

Definitely Yes:

Yours,  
E'

\---

Emma deposited the ticket in Alyssa’s locker the next day and began the wait for her response, planning her set-list for the serenading session she hoped to hold in the band closet because of its very significance to their relationship.

Alyssa found the note and returned it eagerly, with an added flared tick besides a small smiley-face in the ‘definitely yes’ box- of course. There wasn’t much Alyssa wouldn’t do to be sung to by her girlfriend. Emma’s voice was the sweetest thing she had ever heard, and she knew that it made her nervous to sing in front anybody, even those she was most comfortable with like Alyssa, which only made the proposition more special. She understood what a privilege it was for Emma to share her biggest passion with her through something as elementary as a song.

The gig went well, despite Emma’s slightly shaking hands as she relaxed into the melodies. Alyssa’s eyes watched her fondly as she vocalised feelings that had been brewing for a year now that the brunette mirrored and understood in a way as easily and instinctively as breathing.

The ticket that Emma gave her girlfriend to invite her to the small, intimate event was pinned up alongside the cat that evening, serving as a permanent reminder of the love that the couple shared, no matter how closeted it may have been throughout its existence.

They had each other, in spite of anybody who’d try to drag them down for the way they loved. That was the important thing and that was what those essential notes had come to represent.

On the whole, the messages were well-received by both parties, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t exceptions.

The standout of these exceptions occurred around Emma’s birthday. Since it was such a big occasion, and Alyssa knew that her girlfriend struggled to enjoy her birthday wholly because of everything the timing brought back up (Emma was kicked out not even two days after her birthday a few years prior) Alyssa was determined to make it as positive a day as possible.

She’d gotten her a few actual gifts when she managed to slip out to the mall without Kaylee or Shelby one time. This meant she could shop for the girl without questions and without being dragged by the scruff of her neck into every single fast fashion branch Edgewater Mall was home too. The gifts she’d lovingly picked out included a set of rainbow guitar plectrums, not that she knew what they were exactly for, a hideously printed Hawaiian shirt that featured too many different types of exotic fruits that she was one hundred percent sure Emma would adore, and a little stuffed sloth holding a flower. All small but items she knew her girlfriend would appreciate and at least get some use out of, which was more than she could say for the majority of the gifts she’d received throughout her time.

But there was one thing left to do before the day that was stumping her. A card.

Alyssa didn’t feel comfortable buying a card that said something like ‘to my girlfriend’. Sure, in a dream world she would, but their town was so small, too small for the thought to be any definition of the world viable. So small that she was sure it would be the next news headline for the front of the privately published newspaper ‘model-student buys homosexual birthday card for a mysterious lover’ and seeing as Emma was the only out teenager in the whole town, it wouldn’t be long before even the dumbest of residents would work it out. She certainly couldn’t do that. She needed a different plan.

Being undoubtedly aware of their history, she thought it would be more sentimental if she made something herself anyway, but once again she found herself unable to form a single coherent idea.

That was until a poetry class in English a few days later.

They had to write acrostic poems, the theme was something generic like seasons, she wasn’t paying too much attention since poetry had never been her strong suit, but what Alyssa did quickly realise was that if she replaced “Summer’ with “Emma” she would have the perfect birthday card alternative. Something that, if she could get it just right, would be able to say more than any well-wishes scrawled in a piece of manufactured card and printed with a celebratory-looking puppy.

Set on the idea, she really put her time into it. Alyssa was a preplanner, something bred into her by her mother, for better or for worse, so she’d started organising herself for Emma’s birthday weeks before any sane person would have. Though this worked in her favour particularly well on this occasion, because it meant she had plenty of time to perfect her writing before having to write up a final copy in anticipation of Emma’s birthday.

She used that time methodically, drafting and redrafting, and she only had a version she was truly happy with come the night before Emma’s birthday. She, of course, put an equal amount of care into the presentation, using her nicest water colour set that had been a gift from a great aunt a few of her own birthdays ago, to paint the big letters, and she’d been lying if she tried to deny that as the first time it had even been taken out of its box. Then she used her nicest fountain pen to carefully etch her chosen words onto the paper…

\---

‘E,

Wishing you the happiest of birthdays and a spectacular year to follow.

I wrote you this poem to show just how much I love you:

E is for Extraordinary, no matter what you do you never fail to stick out.  
M is for Musical, when you sing, you’re so loud you don’t even have to shout.  
M is for Messy, your room is such a jumble, you may as well live in your pickup-truck  
A is for Always late, even if you’re delayed, for me you’ll always turn up.

You are my whole universe.

Love always,  
A’

\---

What could go wrong?

Well apparently, lots of things could go wrong and if a well-meaning poem comes across as mildly offensive to its recipient, the love behind it is quickly lost- she learnt that the hard-way.

Alyssa was mortified. Emma tried to reassure her that it was funny, and she knew how much work had gone into it, so it didn’t even matter what it said. Alyssa wanted to believe that, she really did, but when her girlfriend explained how it could maybe be interpreted differently, she was nothing less than ashamed. 

She hadn’t meant to cause any ill-harm, they both knew that but that didn’t retract from the fact that Alyssa had been so certain in the mastery of her idea that she’d texted Emma a stream of messages explaining how excited she was to share what she’d been working on with her, and how she was sure she was going to love it so much.

The situation may have been terrible, and she was lucky she gained some redemption from the fact that Emma loved the other gifts Alyssa had so meticulously wrapped and tied with matching ribbons.

She did learn one thing though- never, ever, take inspiration from a high school poetry class and apply it in any other context because it is not supposed to be a universally applicable skill. And if you choose to do so, no matter where your intentions lie, you could accidentally openly frame your girlfriend as brash or undependable on her birthday.

After the constant low-level embarrassment that followed her since the acrostic poem incident, Alyssa started over-compensating by getting more and more creative with her contributions to the note exchange. Alyssa was, admittedly, not the best at dealing with being ‘imperfect’ so it was more of an ingrained instinct to make up for it, even if Emma had found it charming and hadn’t taken any offence to it in the slightest. Once she had finished her homework, she would employ her army of highlighters and gel pens every time she planned to plant a note for her girlfriend. 

One instance Alyssa had been listening to her playlist, mostly made up of Taylor Swift songs, when inspiration struck her in the form of a specific lyrics. Something about it really resonated with her, so she jotted it down and decorated the small piece of paper as she let the music vibrate through her. Some would say that she spent far too long on this particular piece and that the rhinestones really weren’t necessary- Alyssa would disagree. Despite knowing her girlfriend was far from the flouncy, feminine stereotypical girl, she had a blast gluing on the tiny sparkles to dot the i’s and cross the t’s. Holding it up to let it glimmer in the lamp-light once she finished, she sighed contently. Perfect. Emma would love it, if she didn’t, she would try to pretend that did or at least admire the effort that had been put into it.

She slid it in an envelope, so her work would be protected and nothing could fall off between there and its final destination, her eyes glazing over it before she sealed it shut…

\---

‘E,

I can’t help it if you look like an angel.

Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain.  
So, come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you.

Yours,  
A’

\---

Emma did think it was lovely, it was very well presented, and she had to give it to her, it looked fantastic, but it revealed something about Alyssa she hadn’t known about until then,

Alyssa Greene was a Swiftie- and a hardcore one at that. 

She was in deep, really deep, down the rabbit hole that was T-Swift music. Emma knew this because the particular song lyric she’d chosen from ‘Hey Stephen’ was familiar to her. It was old, it wasn’t from the newer, more mainstream, popular of her albums. 

Emma learnt it on the guitar many years prior because it had been on the radio constantly and the chords seemed easy enough. That and she was sure it had been saved in a folder created by sad, pining baby-lesbian Emma, at some point during middle school, it was certainly sappy enough.

That was beside the point though, she’d long left behind that version of herself. 

Her girlfriend on the other hand, whom she’d been dating for over a year loved Taylor swift and hadn’t told her the gold of a piece of information.

Emma liked to think she had good music taste, she was a musician after all, who had a few Spotify playlists with a decent number of saves, she was qualified enough to inform her girlfriend of her opinions.  
So the next time they spent lunch together in the band closet, a new addition to the crossing over of their schedules, Emma didn’t hesitate to be the one to bring up the particular artists behind the lyric she’d chosen, even if they didn’t often speak out-loud about the notes.

Alyssa admitted that she hadn’t meant to become as obsessed with Taylor as she had. It started off ironically because Kaylee was raving about this new, quirky artist shed discovered but it had quickly become a guilty pleasure and now she’d probably have to consider herself a fan.

Of course, Emma poked an appropriate amount of fun at Alyssa before reassuring her that despite her specific lyric choice it was really sweet, and she promised she would try not judge her too much for her music choices now that she knew the true extent of it. (emphasis on the try)

In fact, she embraced it. 

In a few of the following notes Emma even included a few, modified Taylor Swift lyrics of her own…

\---

‘A,

Memorising you was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favourite song…

‘Shake It Off’

Warmly,  
E’

\---

During their time in high school the couple passed many the scrap of paper, but there was one that Emma had been anticipating and simultaneously dreading more than any other.

Since she’d gotten together with Alyssa, Emma had dreamed of the perfect prom experience, complete with co-ordinating outfits, corsages and spiked punch. But because of the prejudices held by so many people around them, she knew it was a long shot to even ask Alyssa to consider it. 

It would be massive for her to go with Emma. It would mean coming out to her peers, her teachers, her mom- and Emma didn’t ever want her to feel pressured into doing that. Coming out was not something she took lightly, not since her own right to that was ripped from her after a slip of the tongue. 

Alyssa would be ready to take them public when she was ready, and in the meantime Emma would wait. She wasn’t sure of many things in life but that was something she could guarantee her stance on. 

Emma Nolan would wait for Alyssa Greene even if that meant holding out on everything she dreamed of, regarding their relationship, until the end of time because nothing would be more worthwhile then being able to hold Alyssa’s hand as they walked down the street or kiss her sweetly in the back of a movie theatre without any ounce of fear.

As much as she knew asking didn’t mean yes, it wasn’t a spontaneous concert for an anniversary or a question of if she wanted another cookie- surely there was no harm in asking.

Either they wouldn’t go to their senior prom, or at least Emma wouldn’t go, Alyssa would probably end up strapped to some model-UN student’s arm at the direction of her mother. Or, they would go, and be unapologetically themselves and have the night of their lives.

Whatever outcome would be fine with Emma because each of them were simple, concise answers if you didn’t dig too deep- and Emma wasn’t digging at all.

Emma raced to the band closet that fateful Tuesday afternoon, as fast as her legs could carry her and arrived their earlier than she ever had done, even before Alyssa- because she had something important to say.

She stood just back from the doorway, leaving ample room for it to be able to open and not knock the glasses from their perch on her nose, and then she pulled out the all-important note from her pocket where it had been sat since the night before.

She’d sat at her desk for longer than she cared to admit, just deliberating what she even wanted it to say before finally deciding on the simplest form of the high stakes question.

\---

‘A,

Will you go to Prom with me?

E.”

\---

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for sticking with this and reading it if you got this far! i really appreciate it!
> 
> comments & kuddos are always marvellous and i love interacting with people on here so please do so!
> 
> syd :)


End file.
